In the Darkness
by dancingpixie
Summary: Ryan makes his grand declaration of love to Marissa, only he does it in a way that is unique all to him. Please Read and Review


WRITTEN BY: Dancing Pixie

RATING: PG13

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the OC. I did however spend a significant amount of timewriting this story. Please don'tsteal it.

SUMMERY:My explanation of why Ryantelling Marissa howhe feels, but only when she isasleep. Only this time others listen in. Please Read& Review!

AUTHOR'SNOTE: I havealearning difficulty that meansI have REALLY bad proof reading skills.I have tried my best to find any allof the mistakes but I most likely have missed a bunch. Hopefully the story will still make sense. Sorry for any confusion.

**In the Darkness**

In the quiet of the night there was nothing. Only the sounds of her breathing echoed in the room.

In. Out. In. Out.

When ever they slept together he noticed that he would automatically fall into her breathing pattern.

In. Out. In. Out.

Ryan's life hadn't been filled with a lot of peace. From his early memories to the most recent, his life was a series of problems and chaos. It was really only on nights like these, with her in his arms that he ever felt that he could fully relax. It was as if her calmness became part of him just like their breathing synchronized.

There were still parts of him which knew that she was too good for him, parts that believed that no one who was that incredible would ever see something redeeming in him. Marissa was more then just her beauty; there was a kindness to her, as well as an ability to believe in the best in people which he found incredible. He couldn't be in a room with her and not want to be around her. She was magnetic.

He wasn't like Seth though. He could think all of these things, he could acknowledge them in the dark of the night but he could never manage to say them. For all of his courage he would never risk what Seth had, he could never got an metaphorical coffee cart to declare his love for Marissa. For him it was still a big accomplishment to meet her eyes when he said "I love you." He knew that she deserved those grand declarations, and probably wanted them too. But the words all got stuck in his throat when he tried. He didn't know how to say what he felt.

Except at night when their breathing became the same. Then he didn't think about sounding stupid, he just spoke and let the words coming flowing out. He leaned in a whispered so low that she wouldn't wake, "I love you."

It was eerily quiet in the Cohen household. Seth rolled over to check the alarm clock, 12:59 am. Slowly he sat up, a branch knocking against his window had woken him and he had been tossing and turning for the last few minutes. With his mom in rehab and his dad away on a business trip, Summer had decided to stay the night and if he didn't fall asleep soon his was probably going to accidentally wake her up. And he had learned the hard way to respect her beauty sleep. Perhaps a glass of warm milk would help send him to the land of nod.

Creeping down the stairs Seth noticed the soft flickering of the TV reflected off the walls. Ryan and Marissa had been curled in front of the TV watching an old black and white movie when he had gone to bed, they had probably fallen asleep in front of the TV. Walking softer so as not to wake them, Seth tiptoed down the stairs.

"I love you," a soft male voice whispered in the dark. Seth's head whipped around to the TV room. Marissa was clearly fast asleep in Ryan's arms but Seth could make out in the darkness Ryan's form whispering to Marissa, "I'm sorry I don't have the courage to say that when you are awake."

Seth paused on the stairs. "It just...well, no one I ever knew ever really said that when I was growing up. I don't think I knew what it meant to love before I met you. Once when we were broken up you said that maybe our relationship didn't mean anything to me. Then I said that "it wasn't like that" I saw the confusion in your eyes. Our relationship always meant something to me; you are the first person I ever loved, the first person who ever loved me. I could go to jail for you a thousand times Marissa Copper and still never save you the way that you have saved me."

Seth didn't know what to do. These were personal things that Ryan was saying, thoughts and emotions that Ryan probably never voiced to anyone, let alone to Seth, about his relationship with Marissa. Seth tried to move his foot to go back upstairs but he could feel the floor board creak. Great, he was stuck. If he moved Ryan would know that he was there. Better to not move.

Ryan tucked the blanket around Marissa, "I remember that night after the fashion show when I carried you into the pool house. You seemed to so fragile, like a princess. I had never met anyone like you. Never met anyone who seemed so knowing, like you could stare right though my act to who I really was, just some scared kid from Chino and even beyond that to some redeeming qualities I didn't even know I had."

Seth felt a shadow fall on him, Summer was staring at him from the top of the stairs as if to speak. Frantically signaling to stay quiet he beckoned her closer. When she heard what Ryan was saying she stopped and her eyes bulged open.

"I need you more then you can ever know. I need your sprit, your belief in people, your belief in me. I missed you this year. I may never be as brave as Seth to stand up in front of the student body and declare my love for you, but at least you know how I feel in your dreams." With that, Ryan wrapped his arms tighter around Marissa, softly kissing her and closed his eyes.

After a few moments when Seth was sure that Ryan was asleep, he wrapped his arms around Summer and tiptoed softly back up the stairs, whispering his own words of love in her ear.

"...at at least you know how I feel in your dreams."

Marissa remembered the first time Ryan had talked to her while she slept. It was in TJ after she found out that her parents were getting divorced. She hadn't been able to sleep and it was late when Ryan had rolled towards her and had started talking. He whispered how sorry he was to her about that making out with Gabrielle, how much he liked her and how he sorry he was that her parents were getting a divorce. Since then when ever they slept together he would talk to her. She never mentioned it, let him think that she was asleep but she treasured every word he said. These were the moments where he bared his soul to her, let himself be truly open with her. They revealed a side to Ryan that life experience and taught him to keep buried away.

Ryan was an "actions rather then words" type of guy. He just seemed to like being with her, holding her hand. He talked with her like a friend and treated her more like an equal then any other person she had ever dated. He accepted her faults and helped her work through them. He made it known that he loved her, but he never told her why. Part of her knew that he was just a quiet person by nature but except for the time on the Ferris wheel their relationships just picked up where they had left off with him kissing her.

Although part of her wanted him to be this open all of the time, another part could understand just saying things in the dark. You could say things that would seem silly or corny without wondering what the other person might think. You could admit things that you weren't brave enough to admit to in person. You won't have to think about whether you were making sense or being clear. You could just bare your heart, soul and mind to a person and know that they would understand it all in their dreams.

She felt him kiss her, hold her tighter and then slowly fall asleep. Turned slightly towards him, she kissed his lips and whispered so softly that he wouldn't hear, "I love you…."


End file.
